Allgemein Archive - Page 2 of 159 - The Art of Communicating

Let’s try doings

Meetings can be a living nightmare.
Let’s try “doings” instead. What’s the difference?

Meetings have an agenda, doings a goal.

Meetings cover topics, doings aim for results.

In a meeting, you talk about things.
In a doing, you do things.

To be sure, getting to results can involve lots of talking.
But it’s not about the talking.

Too often, we meet just for the talking.
Ending up with lots of, well, talk but no result.

But where will the talking lead you?
Asking that question is a powerful shift already.

You don’t meet to talk.
You talk to make progress.

Often, when a meeting is over, the work starts.
But when a doing is over, the work is done (ideally, at least).

Here’s a simple recipe:

There’s an issue. (For example, a decision needs to be made. A plan needs to be made. A conflict has emerged and you seek alignment.)
No issue, no gathering.
You agree on what exactly you want to do in the meeting.
You gather in a room.
You do what you said you’d do.

Even if the result is merely a plan, if that’s what you agreed upon as the goal of gathering in a room, then that’s much more than the open-endedness of many meetings that simply end because time’s up.

Getting people together, whether in a meeting room or online, to work on solving problems is great. The problem is when it’s just for the sake of it.

How do you deal with meeting madness?

PS: Don’t get me wrong. There’s tremendous value in “merely” meeting for the sake of it, but there might be better places than a meeting room.

Meeting madness

This meeting could have been a memo.
Unfortunately, no one reads memos.
So it had to be a meeting.

The best way to get rid of unproductive meetings is to create an environment where they are not needed.

Inside out

Good speakers make us get them.
Great speakers get us.

It’s a fascinating experience when you listen to someone and it feels like they know you inside out.

When their story makes you feel seen and heard.

When their messages make you see options that you couldn’t see before.

When they’ve found words for what’s going on inside of you that you could never have found yourself.

Did you ever experience that in a talk?
Have you created it?
I’d love to hear your stories!

The biggest reason for stage fright

The biggest reason for stage fright is not what you think it is.

It’s not the size of the audience or the prestige of the event.

It’s not that you don’t have a commanding presence on stage.

It’s not that you’re not funny enough or can’t tell engaging stories.

It’s also not the complexity of the topic you are speaking on.

Nor that you haven’t practiced enough.

And it’s not that you haven’t attended enough public speaking workshops.

Although all of that can contribute.

But none of it is the root cause! The root cause is this:
You don’t believe in the words you use!

None of the usual advice will fix this. That’s why it can’t work. If you don’t believe in your words, any body language tip will have to work against your belief. It only adds to the stress.

But here’s the good news:

When you find words you truly believe in about the things you deeply care about, nothing else will matter!

Solve that problem, and you’ll solve the others, too.

PS: I wrote a little eBook on how to do that. It’s called: Speak Easy and it’s a short read with a pretty unusual take. If you haven’t done so already, download it here for free: https://michaelgerharz.com/speak-easy

A little empathy

“I’m sorry!”
Three words that can change the dynamics almost every time something went wrong.

Instead, people tend to get defensive.
“Not my fault!”
“I did nothing wrong!”
“You should have done it differently!”

Which might be 100% accurate. It wasn’t their fault.

But what if I wasn’t even looking for someone to blame? What if I’m totally aware that I should have done it differently?

And yet, here I am. Things have gone wrong and it hurts.

What if all I wanted was an acknowledgment of that feeling?

“I feel you!” might be all that it takes.

Instead, people are more concerned about their own feelings.
Which is probably just an intuitive reaction.
But once you see it you can change it.

A little more empathy takes interactions a long way – especially when things have gone wrong.

A great show

WOW opens the mind.
AHA changes the mind.

So much advice on public speaking focuses on the WOW effect.

How to turn the spotlight onto yourself.
How to put on a great show.
How to dazzle your audience.

But do you want your audience to cheer for your great performance or for the brilliance of your idea?

If it’s the latter, then WOW will only get you half the way.

To get all the way, consider turning the spotlight around and onto your audience.

Sure, put on a great show if that’s your thing. But make your audience the star of the show.

And shine a bright light. Yet not to dazzle but to light your audience the path to a profound insight.

It’s so much more fun.
It’s so much more worthwhile.

Best of all, AHA moments tend to last longer than WOW moments.

What’s your take on this?

How much “you” is too much?

A little add-on to yesterday’s post:
How much “you” is too much in your presentation style?

Ultimately, style serves impact. It’s best positioned to do so at the intersection of being a great fit for

you,
the content, and
the event.

While I stand by my assertion that audiences are much more tolerant regarding style than you think, that doesn’t mean that everything works everywhere.

Some matches are just not a good fit.

So, be as much “you” as possible, but get out of your way if that style keeps you from making a bigger impact because it’s not a good fit for either the content or the event.

And, of course, avoid compromising substance for style.

Your Style

“Our audiences expect it that way.”
But honestly now, do they really?

The statement sounds as if it would be in service of the audience. But more often than not, it’s just an expression of fear.

The fear of rejection.

Because, well, what if they don’t like it the other way?

When I started to do things differently with my speaking some 20 years back, my colleagues in our working group were very worried about me. They kept reminding me that audiences would expect a more traditional way of presenting and that I was risking my reputation.

Turns out I wasn’t.
Neither did audiences expect a more traditional way.

A couple of things I frequently heard after a presentation:
“That was a refreshing way of presenting.”
“Finally, someone speaking plain English.”
“I loved the way that you spoke with us, not to us.”

No one had missed the boring bullet point galore of the traditional way.

In fact, never even once in my life have I met someone who would have preferred a boring presentation over a more entertaining one just because the boring would be more traditional.

Here’s what audiences really expect: They expect you to not waste their time.

Audiences are way more tolerant than you think regarding style.

What’s much more important is that

what you say is relevant and
how you say it resonates.

What I’ve learned is that the latter is much easier if you dare to be more “you” in the way you show up. But make sure that what you say is highly relevant.

Would love to hear your experiences with being you! How do you deal with the warning that “audiences expect it that way”?

Silence

Nowadays, even if there’s no sound, the world doesn’t feel silent very often, does it?

As soon as we pause, our phones cry “Check me!”.

The noise that’s social media (or Slack, email, you name it) doesn’t give our mind a pause like sitting in silence at a lake does.

Even though the latter might have much more ambient noise than your “silent office”.

What if you changed the meaning of silent to refer to giving your mind a little pause? To stop the noise of other people’s ideas flooding your thoughts and give your own thoughts a little more volume, even the quiet ones?

That kind of silence feels very different.

Actually, today feels like a good day to give it a try.

What’s your definition of silence?
When was the last time you truly experienced that?

Switching off

My favorite TV show as a child always ended with a call to action: “You can safely switch off the TV now!”

Which we did. Even though it was probably more our parents’ decision than ours, it was often the start to some fun hours.

What if, after reading this post, you did the same?

There’s a day waiting outside.
Conversations to be had.
Walks to be made.
Smiles …

Feels like a good choice to me.

You can safely switch your device off now ;-)

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