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Relevance beats elegance

If I can’t relate to a speaker’s words, it doesn’t matter how beautiful their slides are, how elaborate their body language is, or how creative their storytelling is.

It might be nice but it’s also pointless.

If, on the other hand, they manage to make it highly relevant, I will tolerate an ugly slide or two and a little nervousness.

In other words, work on your story’s relevance before you begin to work on the show.

The good news is that when it’s relevant, a great show will only amplify the impact.

The other side of listening

Listening is mostly considered to be about filtering the most out of what’s being said. But there’s another side to it.

Being listened to.

It changes the conversation profoundly.

Try to think back to a situation where someone made you feel listened to?

How did you feel?
What changed for you?
In the way you opened up?
Which turn did the conversation take?

It feels very much like a gift, doesn’t it?

Great leaders often excel at it. They’re not only good listeners in the sense that they are aware of what’s being said. They’re also good at giving others that feeling of being listened to.

They truly give their full attention.

Who gave you that gift recently? What can you learn from them?

PS: One could even argue that you’re only really listening when it gives the speaker the feeling of being heard.

It starts with the speaker

Who else is tired of speakers who waste our time with boring speeches that take forever but lead nowhere?

Who else thinks it’s disrespectful when speakers don’t take the time to prepare well?

Who else is done with selfish speakers who only show up to take advantage of the audience?

Relationships are built on respect and generosity.

Value your audience’s time and they will treat you accordingly.

It’s a simple dynamic. But it starts with the speaker.

Much like the idea of servant leadership has changed leadership, the idea of a servant speaker could do the same for speaking.

Who’s with me on that?

The art of resonance

The art of persuasion is the art of getting people to do something they didn’t want to do.

(If they wanted to do it, you wouldn’t have to persuade them.)

I prefer to resonate instead. That’s the art of aligning what you want with what they want.

Not with what they should want. But with what they do want.

The problem, of course, is in figuring out what that actually is – especially, given that they often don’t (and sometimes can’t) articulate it clearly.

Another problem is to figure out what it actually is that you want.

So it’s not that trying to resonate would be significantly easier than persuasion (if at all). The choice is more about how much you care about the other side.

What’s your perspective on this?

Heard and understood

The art of communicating is less about making yourself heard and understood than about making your audience feel heard and understood.

The distinction of great communicators is that they don’t just reach our ears and smarts; they touch our hearts.

How does it feel to be persuaded?

Perhaps something like this …

Let’s imagine you’re listening to a skilled speaker. They’re well rehearsed and obviously know what they’re talking about.

But still, you’re feeling a bit of skepticism mix with your curiosity as they present their ideas. A subtle guard rises within you, a natural defense against being swayed or manipulated.

But they skillfully weave emotional appeals and logical arguments. You notice your skepticism battling with intrigue. Their words are like a gentle but persistent nudge against your existing beliefs.

You find yourself momentarily swayed by a particularly compelling point …

… only to retreat back into doubt.

The speaker seems to sense these waves of resistance. They become more insistent, more persuasive.

You feel a growing tension to agree.

It’s not exactly uncomfortable, but it’s definitely there.

There’s a part of you that wants to give in, to align with this persuasive narrative just to alleviate the growing tension within you.

When the presentation ends, you’re left feeling a bit unsettled. You find yourself agreeing with some points …

But …

Did you agree because the arguments were sound, or because the art of persuasion subtly wore down your defenses?

The art of persuasion is a fascinating one. And yet, I prefer it when leaders light the path.

Both aim to create tension that leads to change. But the former does it in the speaker’s best interest while the latter does it in the audience’s best interest.

Proud to work here

How many of your team members tell their families and friends that they are genuinely proud of working in your team?

Are you yourself proud of working here?
Why or why not?

Are you proud of your employees?
Why or why not?

What would you expect your employees to be proud of?

When was the last time you asked?

Getting people’s support

There’s almost no limit in getting people’s support when supporting you gets them what they want.

This alignment, of course, gets easier the better you understand what it is that they want?

It sounds like a cliché but great communication really does start with listening.

Choose your audience

Ever tried playing Jazz to a Metal crowd?
It’s fun to watch.

Even more so when the Jazz fan tries to convince the Metal crowd that Jazz is actually better music.

They just won’t believe you. No matter how brilliant your music is to a Jazz crowd.

Jazz bands will have a much better time playing in front of a Jazz crowd.

Their impact will be bigger, too.

The same applies to marketing.

Choose your audience wisely.

Embracing the blank stare

For some, it’s a huge source of frustration.
For others, it’s a gift.

The blank stare on people’s faces when you tell them about your great idea but they just don’t get it.

So, how is that a gift?

It’s information. It tells you that either your idea or your explanation needs improvement. Not only that. The blank stare tells you exactly where.

Pay attention to when exactly the blank stare occurs and you know where you need to improve your idea or your story.

Don’t give up until the blank stare is resolved.

But wait, there’s one exception: Your idea might not be for everyone.

Don’t waste time on optimizing your story for those who will never get it. Own their blank stare and make it even stronger for the people who you’re making it for.

Spread the Word

Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz