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Success

How do you measure the success of your talk?

There were standing ovations?

There were no questions?
There were many questions?

Your boss liked it?
Your colleagues liked it?
Sam liked it?

You came through without a glitch?

You closed a deal?

A crowd gathered around you in the coffee break?

Someone praised you?
Someone got angry?

No-one pulled their smartphone out of their pocket?
Someone used their smartphone to take a photo of one of your slides?
Someone posted a photo of a slide on LinkedIn?

A year later, someone bumped into you recalling your core message?

You got an email from someone thanking you for how you changed their life?

What’s your measure for success?
How did your last talk measure up?

At the speaker’s mercy

As a speaker, you’re in the driver’s seat.
Which can be a problem for your audience.

If you drive too fast, they’ll miss the point.
If it’s too slow, they might fall asleep.
And if you choose a bumpy road,

they‘re probably not going to enjoy the ride.

Reading a book is different because the reader is in control of the pace with which they process the information.

They can slow down,
skip ahead,
flip a few pages back and
re-read some information.

In a speech, the audience can’t do any of that.
They’re at the speaker’s mercy.

As a speaker, being aware of that helps in making the ride more enjoyable and satisfying for your audience.

Keep in mind, though, that not everyone enjoys the same kind of ride. While some audiences love the feeling of a sports car, others prefer the feeling of a well-balanced limousine.

The tough questions

If you take communication seriously it will lead you to confront the tough questions.

What’s the point?
Who are we doing it for?
What are their struggles?
No, really … what are their struggles?
Why would that excite them?
And many more … 

The people for whom communication means checking a box and filling out a template or two … they are easily satisfied with lazy answers to those questions.

But when you take communication seriously and try to come up with words that are truly yours, words that can only describe you, it will lead you to the core of what you do.

And that can often feel like we’ve shifted to a much deeper level of cooperation. More than once, it has led clients to reconsider their strategy, their marketing, even the way they run meetings … 

But it’s a side-effect.
I’m just helping you to find the right words.

“Can’t they just open their eyes?”

The Sales Director thought the COO was a coward while the COO thought the Sales Director was risking the business.

It’s a common situation when opinions clash on an issue we deeply care about. The instinct when facing such a conflict is to ask: “What’s wrong with them? Can’t they just open their eyes?”

But this instinct leads you down a path of blame and ultimately, into a deadlock because, of course, they are thinking the same about you.

Anyway, it makes (kind of) sense, considering that these are all smart people. They care deeply, they have thought it through and they have very good reasons for their take.

And yet, the same is true for the other side.

Actually, quite likely there are excellent reasons on either side of the argument.

That’s why, in situations like these, I suggest a different perspective: The choices you make going out conversations like these help a team define who they want to be.

Given that there’s no clear right and wrong answer, it’s an opportunity to define what kind of right is right for us. What kind of wrong are we not willing to take.

So, it’s not about who is right (because, in a way, both likely are). It’s about who you want to be and which path is right for us heading into the future.

The easy way out might be to sidestep these issues, hoping they’ll resolve themselves. But more often than not, this leads to even deeper fissures down the road.

If you’re the leader, it’s way more important to face these conflicts straight on, as these conflicts are precisely the kind of conversations that lead you and your team to your true core and fill your journey with meaning.

Taking a Talk

It’s called “giving a talk” but let’s face it:

Many speakers show up to take

… our time
… our attention
… our money
… our vote
… our applause
… our approval

Which leads to many of the awkward situations we encounter in speeches and presentations:

The presenter who brags about their accolades while we couldn’t care less and wonder when they will start getting to the point.

The speaker who puts the spotlight on themselves while we’re left wondering what their story actually means for us.

The salesman who praises their offer while we wonder if they will ever bother to ask a question about what we actually need.

The irony, of course, is that it’s the other way around:
The more they give, the more we might be willing to give in return.

A Superpower

Almost nothing is important.
And yet, the Universe is on a mission to make us believe it was.

If you’re leading an organization, you’re bombarded with tons of information and decisions and each one of ’em likes to suggest that it’s rather important.

But from a distance, in that huge pile of stuff, most things aren’t that big a deal. Don’t you agree?

That email? It can wait.
That third bullet point on slide 15? Nobody would have missed it.
That new study that’s all over social media? It’s not even relevant to our scale.

To say it straight: Most things are utterly unimportant.

Treating them as if they were important distracts not only you but the whole team from what really matters.

I think that’s one of the main aspects of lighting the path. To arrive at a clear (and joint) understanding of what’s truly important and what’s not.

So that you can focus on the former and keep the latter from distracting you.

Once you become used to it, it can become hard to bear it when people obsess over unimportant stuff.

Now, this may sound like you wouldn’t care for the details and only the big picture. But I think it’s the opposite.

When the detail matters, you deeply care for getting them right. It’s going to make a huge difference.

But if you let the details of stuff that doesn’t even matter distract you, well it’s going to hold your team back from making a difference.

The Unlikely Speaker Rockstar

You don’t enjoy public speaking?
Well, many great speakers don’t, either!

This observation often surprises people. In both camps.

A friend of mine was baffled to learn that his peers considered him a truly gifted speaker – baffled because he didn’t enjoy the spotlight of a stage much and, as a consequence, thought he wasn’t good at it.

This scenario is more common than you might think. Some of the most compelling speakers are anything but seeking the spotlight.

Which is precisely why we enjoy their speeches so much.

They don’t show up to show off. They show up because they deeply care for what they do.

In other words, if advancing their cause means standing on a stage, then that’s what they’ll do. And if they do it, then they can just as well make good use of that time. My friend wasn’t chasing applause or trying to dazzle the audience. Instead, he aimed to lead listeners to a moment of clarity and understanding.

And that’s what his audience appreciated: The aha. (Did you ever notice how aha moments often come in silence?)

It’s a common misconception that to excel in public speaking, one must love the spotlight. It’s much more important that you love what you do and care deeply.

Have you met such a person?
Do you yourself enjoy standing on a stage?

Easy

Reminder: The easier you make it for your audience to speak about your idea, the more likely it becomes that they actually do.

It’s not your audience’s job to figure out how to spread your idea.

Gettin’ in the groove

“Good job,” the leader declares as the team meeting disperses.

The team members file out with a quiet that speaks volumes, another routine meeting has ended. Efficient in its execution, but lacking groove.

Groove – that hard to describe feeling that infuses energy and passion into the mundane. The element which turns a group of individuals into a dynamic team that dances to the rhythm of a common beat.

In its place was a mechanical march of agenda items.

The meeting had structure, it had purpose, but it lacked the soulful harmony of groove – the lightness, the drive that turns work into something more.

Contrast this with a different meeting. Imagine a space alive with the buzz of collaboration, where ideas are volleyed with the excitement of a well-played game. The leader in such a meeting is more a conductor than a commander, guiding the rhythm but allowing each member to play their unique part.

In a meeting with groove, the air crackles with the energy of possibility. Team members lean in, not back. They speak not just to relay information, but to contribute to a collective melody. Challenges are met not with resignation, but with the enthusiasm of problem-solvers in their element. And when the meeting concludes, it’s not with the emptiness of a routine farewell, but with the satisfaction of a song well sung, a job well done together.

The contrast is stark – on one hand, a meeting that ticks boxes but leaves spirits untouched; on the other, a gathering that moves beyond mere efficiency to resonate on a deeper, more meaningful level. In the end, it’s just a subtle difference, call it groove or energy or whatever you like, but it made a huge difference.

Efficiency creates relevance, but not always resonance.

In the absence of emotion, even the best-laid plans are just words in a room, echoing without a heart to hear them.

How about you? Have you ever experienced groove in a meeting?

Spread the Word

Picture of Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz